Happy Halloween!!

I have always been a fan of Halloween. I love it in fact. If it was a boy, I would totally marry him!

This year, in following my theme of "Types of Engineers" I am a "Domestic Engineer". And while I think this is a misuse of the term "engineer", I also think it is funny. So here I am in a skirt, an apron, hose!, heels!!, a SLIP!!!, pearls and a cardigan okay so I wear this a lot as it from my work). I also thought I needed a fancy purse and a plate of cookies. There was going to be a baby in my arms at all times too, but I forgot to grab my cabbage patch when I left this morning. I find my costume amusing, though rather uncomfortable (okay only the heels)
Kitty PotPie decided she wanted to be Puss-Next-To-Shoes in homage of "Puss-in-Boots"
When I explained to her that was LAME, she stormed off...
Nova on the other hand, had an EXCELLENT idea of being a conehead, like her favorite SNL skit.
However, her implementation was a little off...but she was convinced she had the right idea.
And tried to get me shake on it.
I didn't shake, because I think it is silly, so she stormed off... (no picture of the storming, sorry).

That is my Halloween tale for 2008. Basically I am a nerdy girl that is amused by her costumes, more than other people are (but hey, I am the one that has to wear it) and my animals have NO sense on what is a good costume (it is like they have never experienced Halloween before (oh wait, Nova hasn't...))

On another note, Nova has been to the Vet 3 times in the last week. The first time was to get spayed, the second time was for leakage, the third time was to get a staple in her tummy. Hence she has to wear a cone ALL the time now and cannot be left outside, because she has to keep clean. Today is the first day she has been allowed to stay in the house by herself, and let me tell you, I am NERVOUS!! But at least with the cone on, she is a lot more calm and cannot get into as much trouble. Right???

"Help control the pet population; have your pet spayed or neutered"

Nova is at the vet right now. She is waiting to get spayed, just like Bob Barker told me to do. I am kind of worried about her, but mostly about my bank account. Getting a 48 lb dog spayed is WAY more expensive than getting a 5 lb kitty spayed (I think KPP was about 5 lb when it happened).

But on another note, Nova learned "leave it" at puppy school on Wednesday. DANG! I love this trick and she is pretty good at it. Here are some pictures of her leaving it (the it being me).
Sometimes she is not so good, but I just have to say it more stern and she is good again.
Until she wants the treat and then I get a "roo roo roo" from her. Maybe I will try to get a recording of her roo'ing, because it is so funny.
And where was KPP throughout this? In the bathtub of course!?! This was taken yesterday morning, after I had showered and she likes to go lick the water in the tub, not really sanitary, but whatever. She is a weird kitty, but so cute.
And don't worry, I will get some pictures of Nova wearing a cone.

David Sedaris

Last night, Christie and I went to see David Sedaris read some of his stories. It was EXCELLENT! I laughed so hard.

Here are some of the things I laughed really hard at:

1. David buying a giant box of condoms with his brother-in-law at the Costco, because he needed something that was individually packaged and light, so he would have presents to give out to teenagers he met on his book tour. He had wanted ibuprofen packages, but Costco didn't have them, so instead he got the giant box of condoms and felt REALLY gay (especially after they added 5 lbs of strawberries to the cart), and figured people were assuming that his brother-in-law was his boyfriend, which he himself had never imaged, but now cannot get it out of his head.
2. Him having places he is at post a sign that says "no pictures" so they look like the jerk, not him, when really it is him who doesn't like to get his picture taken. And on the same book tour that involved the condoms, he was at another Costco, where no one came to see him and looked especially pathetic, because he had a GIANT sign next to him that said "No Photos Please".
3. Saw a lady on TV crying, because her family would not have a very big Christmas due to the economy, his response was basically "it is her own f*cking fault, if she had started shopping in January like I did, her family could still have a Christmas" And his lesson to the audience was to start shopping now, while we still have some money, so if the economy really tanks, you can still have Christmas.
4. He likes the American election process because everyone advertises their party, unlike in France. In his region, an anti-immigration fascist was elected, so he wonders if all his neighbors hate him, because he doesn't know which neighbors voted for the fascist, because there were no lawn signs or bumper stickers. And at least in America "you know if you are sitting next to an a**hole because he has the pin on his lapel to tell you".
5. Still on the elections he noted that being undecided in an election is like trying to choose between "the chicken or human sh*t..with shards of glass in it". The story that contains that line is in the New Yorker this week and apparently they wouldn't let him say "human sh*t" so he changed it to "a platter of sh*t". Either way, very funny.
   
6. Cows are cheap jerks that don't want to buy Christmas presents, so they will choose the turkey that is going to be Christmas dinner as their secret santa.
7. That he really likes the Little America (where he was staying). It is like a "four-star motel" and he likes it better than the "Big America"
8. His impersonation of one of his old professors saying "Nicaragua", "Chicano", "Latino" and "Costa Rica" and that he hates when people (Americans) put the same phony emphasis when speaking French, especially if they are more fluent than he is.
9. That he can name his rabbits whatever the hell he wants, because they are his intruders. For example, one was named "tile", but in French.
10. When it came time to take questions, he had what I like to call a "phone voice" and pointed to the audience saying "yes" and numerous times, he pointed to no one that had their hand raised, and we all laughed at him.
    
11. Also, he thought Doug Fabrizio is the hottest man in public radio and that the rest of them are "toads" or something found under a rock. And Fabrizio is good looking enough to be on TV. (which he does have a show on KUED, so I guess he is a TV/radio guy, not just a radio guy)

There were many, many other things, but those are the things I can remember off the top of my head. And I must say, I was a little bit wary of going, because I figured it wouldn't be as good as the last time I saw him live, but it totally was. And most likely, I will go see him again when he comes back to town.

Oh and he recommended a book by George Saunders. It is a collection of essays titled, "The Braindead Megaphone". I requested it from the library, so I will be reading it when I finish the two books ahead of it. I am betting it will be good. I do remember Mr. Sedaris suggesting a book last time I saw him, but I don't remember what it was and I am betting I didn't read it.

So for those of you, who have not read any of David Sedaris's books, I recommend that you do. But only if you have a sense of humor and aren't offend by things like drugs, swearing, smoking (he did finally quit), hair nests, peeing in your pants ("Thanks, Stadium Pal!), dysfunctional families or gay boys. He really is one of my favorite authors, so I think everyone will like him! (but I understand that some people are sticks in the mud and get offended easily and do not like to read about people's lives that are different from their own)

And FYI. Nova and KPP are doing fine, still not playing, but are interacting more.

PEACE OUT!

How to say no.

As the internet world knows, Nova is in puppy school. It is great. Except for the fact that everyone gives my dog treats.

Last week, all the treats just gave her gas, this week she received the gift of diarrhea. After falling asleep about midnight, I was woken up by Nova whining in her crate. She has never woken me up before, so I figured something must be wrong, so we went outside. And it is a good thing it was a warm night and I had slippers, because we were out there for 5-10 minutes while she ran around relieving herself in different spots. Finally, when that was over we went back inside and went back to bed, where I had a nice warm kitty waiting to sleep by me. (dang, I love my cat!) This morning, I was hoping it would be out of her system, but after she had eaten, I was getting ready and she was checking things out (like she does every morning) and as I walked to put on shoes, I notices a little spot on my tile and then another and another, it was just water, but bum water (tried to think of a polite way to say it, but really is there a nice way to say "anal leakage"?). Needless to say, she got put outside earlier than normal.

So wise internet world, what is a good way to tell people not to feed my dog treats even though she is sitting very nicely in front of them looking cute?? AND how do I make the diarrhea stop??

Dogs...

Nova has discovered that she LOVES lotion. So every morning while I am putting lotion on my legs she tries to lick it off as fast as I put it on. This morning, I tried putting it on while I was standing on my bed, which just made her try and jump on my bed (good thing I have a tall bed).

How do I get her to stop doing this?? It is SO gross! Maybe if she didn't eat random poo that she finds in the neighbor's yard it wouldn't be so bad...oh wait it would. SO GROSS!

On another note, KPP has taken to CHASING Nova and swatting at her. It is HILARIOUS! And it is always a sneak attack, which I am sure leaves Nova thinking "What the??"

Good times, good times.

Holding Out!

Today is my brother Steven's birthday (Happy Birthday, Steven) and I realized last night that I am the only kid in my immediate family (not including my lovely steps) that is under 30! Now Steven actually turns 31 today, so I should have had this realization last year, but I am a little slow.

It is a weird feeling to know my family is getting so old!!

oh and Happy 4 Month Birthday to Nova!